Here’s what I most want you to know: this really is as bad as you think. No matter what anyone else says, this sucks. What has happened cannot be made right. What is lost cannot be restored. There is no beauty here, inside this central fact.
Acknowledgment is everything
You’re in pain. It can’t be made better.
The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. There is pain in this world that you can’t be cheered out of.
You don’t need solutions. You don’t need to move on from your grief. You need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life.
Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.Megan Divine – It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok
This is not how you thought it would be.
Time has stopped. Nothing feels real. Your mind cannot stop replaying the events, hoping for a different outcome. The ordinary, everyday world that others still inhabit feels coarse and cruel. You can’t eat (or you eat everything). You can’s sleep (or you sleep all the time). Every object in your life becomes an artifact, a symbol of the life that used to be and might have been. There is no place this loss has not touched.Megan Divine – It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok
Telling the truth about grief is the only way forward: your loss is as bad as you think it is. And people, try as they might, really are responding to your loss as poorly as you think they are. You aren’t crazy.Megan Divine – It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok
There’s nothing wrong with grief. It’s a natural extension of love. It’s a healthy and sane response to loss. That grief feels bad doesn’t make it bad. ; that you feel crazy doesn’t mean you are crazy.
Grief is part of love. Love for life, love for self, love for others. What you are living, painful as it is, is love. And love is really hard. Excruciating at times.Megan Divine – It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok
Grief is visceral, not reasonable: the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wildest form.Megan Divine – It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok