Grief, who are you?
I am your constant companion. Even in your happiest moments, I am here. I have wound myself around your heart and sunk my teeth into your bones. I changed your very cells. You and I are entwined in a permanent embrace.
I am the invisible hand around your throat when the pain of his death steals your breath. I am the scream that escapes your lips instead of the words that you try to speak. I am the searing pain in your soul when you remember he is never coming home.
I am the new level of compassion you feel for yourself and others. I am the gratefulness you feel for the love you still have in your life. I am the self love you have found. I am the reason you get out of bed.
I don’t look like you expected. I am more than just pain and sadness and anger. I am also beautiful. I am not always the darkness in your soul. I am also the new light by which you see the world. I am also the wife open heart and vulnerability that you now face the world with.
I know you hated me when I first showed up. I don’t blame you. I had some very, very hard lessons to teach you. But you have come to see that I am also your closest confidant. I am your most intimate friend. The people who love me will have to become intimate with me, too. I am your partner, forever.
I’m glad you’ve learned not to hate me, not to fight me. I am part of you now. If you’re going to truly love yourself , you will have to also love me.