Did You Mean To Ask…

When you asked me,”Why are you still so sad”…

Did you mean to ask me what it is like to live with the sudden and unexpected death of my husband?

Did you mean to ask me what you can do to help me be happy again?

Did you mean to ask me what broke my heart so completely that I understand the darkness more than most?

Did you mean to ask me what happened to my husband?

Did you mean to ask me what secrets are in my heart that I don’t share?

Did you mean to ask me to tell you where my scars are and how I got them?

Did you mean to ask me what you can do to love me more so that I don’t stay in the dark?

Did you mean to ask what things in this life soothe the ache, even for a moment?

Did you mean to ask if you could hug me?

Did you mean to ask if you could go with me to visit his grave, so I don’t have to do it alone?

Did you mean to ask me if you could be a light in an often too dark world?

Did you mean to ask me to talk about my husband because I love to talk about him so the world doesn’t forget?

Did you mean to ask me to take a walk in the sunshine with you so that the fresh air can soothe my soul?

Did you mean to ask me if you can sit in the dark with me on the days I can’t handle the light?

Im sure you meant to ask those things. Im sure you didn’t mean to judge my grief. Im sure you meant to say you love me and support me and will be here as long as it takes for me to have solid footing again. Im sure you didn’t mean to tell me that you think I should be over the loss of the most important person in my life by now. Im sure you meant to say that I should take all the time I need to heal and move forward. Im sure that’s what you meant to say.

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